Quote:
Originally Posted by bpcyclist
Not entirely sure what the exact relationship business and personal is with your sister. Why does she control the purse strings, if you're the one making all the products? Have you signed any kind of a non-compete? What's keeping you from bailing on her and doing your own thing? And what about the living arrangements? Is there any possible way for you in the future to maybe get your own place? It sounds like you feel trapped and that is not a good place to be. The solution to this is always action.
The other thing is, I am not, nor have I ever been, in law enforcement. But I strongly recommend that you not share your preference for your sister's demise with anyone. In particular, don't put it in writing, voicemails, or any sort of email or text. Better to just keep those feeling to yourself. You don't want to create a big potential headache for yourself somewhere down the line.
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Thanks for the caution. The thoughts started about five years ago when she attacked viciously me over something trivial and I realized I had no way out. It always starts with me thinking of suicide and then realizing it's not fair when I'm not the one going around attacking people.
The problem is that my name is on the mortgage and a lot of debt. We owe a lot on an expensive car (our only vehicle) that she insisted we needed for the business. We bought these things together when the business was thriving but now she is trying to force me to give up on our plans after the money is spent and we are near bankruptcy. She still spends extravagantly on new business ventures and then quits before they are finished.
I used to believe we could earn enough to live seperately eventually but things went downhill last year when some emergancies put us in deep debt. My sister deals with money troubles by attacking me and even disrupting the business so things got worse and worse. And she got nastier the more we got into debt, refusing to help with the work and swearing and yelling around me when I'm trying to work. Since I realized my sister was not honest I managed to get a few necessities for myself such as a computer and tried to hide away money online to eventually get away. I haven't succeeded yet.
I tend to think of death whenever I try to find a way out and fail. The thing that make me think of it is her recklessness. She tends to take risks and refuse to follow safety rules. Our family has always had horses and she developed a bizarre habit of doing something that was likely to make a horse fall on top of her (she can't see the danger even when told not to do it). Recently, she gave a violent stalker our home address and we had several months of trouble over that. She has lost control of the car several times by impulsive swerving. I actually constantly worry she will get me killed and I grew up worrying about her safety but I decided if she wants to risk her own life I will not waste emotion mourning her. I just try to stay vigilent to avoid being killed by the accidents she frequently causes. The life time of worrying that led to these thoughts do sem like a form of OCD to me. But don't worry. I'm too sensible to commit any crimes. I will try to regain control of my feelings though.