Not that I always follow my own advice but it sounds like you might be more comfortable starting with a group of people with similar interests vs one on one with someone you want to love you---nurture yourself and be active as you can (eg: meetup groups for walking, going to dinner/social events that will provide company and shared activities without the pressure of facing imminent intimacy or hopes of being exclusively cared for...I have noticed as I age that the small things shared or experienced are often the most treasured memories.