I just saw this. All of the above is me except I didn't even realize I was swallowing my pride; rather, I fell for all the bs hook, line and sinker. It is amazing the bs I believed because I had such an idealized view of my son. In my family's case, it was damaging to him that I did. The only good thing about my story is now I see it for what it is. Still, while I am with him, sometimes he can still charm me and perhaps that is because sometimes he does treat me right but, many times, he still has a bad, disrespectful attitude. Perhaps it is just immaturity; perhaps he has a mood disorder like I do; only he can figure it out. I am to enmeshed and troubled to try to diagnose it. When the bad attitude immerges--I leave or end the call. I used to go see him even when his attitude was bad--I think that is why I had panic attacks sometimes when he called or on my way to going to see him--my intuition was signaling to me that I needed to stay away. I think our panic attacks are triggered when something we are dealing with reminds us of when we were mistreated in the past--whether that is recent or from our childhood.

My only advice is walk away or end the call whenever he does not treat you with respect. You gave your heart, soul, and all your resources to this child--you deserve respect. It can be hard for a while when we change our expections of people--some have temper tantrums or reveal how they truly feel. Hopefully, he just needs to grow up but you don't want to spend much time with him if he is not treating you right. I am sorry. I know how much it hurts.