Hi raging vortex. I guess it's understandable that when someone hears about such a thing that they take it serious. Honestly, if they didn't, that would be delinquent of them. I wish my youngest nephew had called me on June 17, 2017 and told me what he wanted to do. But he kept it quiet.

I can't even count how many horrible or embarrassing things I've said when hypomanic and manic. Sometimes I'm a little too brutally honest, even stable. I guess the last thing that sticks out was when I was manic on my way home from Portugal with my husband a couple years back. It was our 20th anniversary trip. I don't remember verbatim, but not only was my illness highly upsetting him, but I said that I hated the trip. He started to cry hard on the plane on our way home.

I know that my bipolar disorder is not my choice, but it definitely hurts me how it has affected my husband's life negatively and scared him. I would blame myself more, at times, if I didn't put an effort into treating it. That is why I am serious about finding the best medication mix, working hard in therapy, and trying to live the healthiest life possible. Decisions to reject treatment can sometimes be highly self-centered decisions.