I already feel better. I felt bad this morning but I went back to sleep for a few hours and now I feel ok. I’m going to do some cleaning and maybe go to the store. I start back at my old job on Monday. I’m happy about that as I really don’t like being home by myself, as much as I like sleeping. I hope I will be happier at my old job and that this episode is beginning to pass. Maybe I won’t be able to go out as much but I’ll be happier.

I’m just feeling like so much pressure has been lifted from me. Wanting to hurt myself was so uncomfortable. I had to really lean on RS to keep me safe, which I don’t like to do. I’m lucky he is so supportive. I always felt like I had to hide it with my husband because he would get so upset and angry about it. Then it would build and build and I’d end up hospitalized. This time I didn’t get actively suicidal. Passively, yes, but I wasn’t in imminent danger. I think that’s because I was able to talk about my feelings instead of stuffing them down. It’s such a nice change.

I hope I will continue to feel better and get over this episode.