Saw my pdoc yesterday. As I reacted so badly to reducing my Lithium dose by a quarter, and am still really settling down after the worst, he wants me to sit on my current dose for a week and then let him know how I am. If I’m stable I will begin a much slower taper off of Lithium. He also suggested trying to find a sweet spot with my dose where I still have the benefits, but not the side effects. We are both concerned about me being off of Lithium as it has protected me from impulsive suicide attempts.

The last few days I’ve started to feel better. I don’t need prn Seroquel and can sleep. My mood is almost normal too. So glad that experience is over. I’m fed up living in survival mode. My pdoc told me he wants to help me thrive. I hope we can achieve that.

My life is going in slow motion. I have too much free time but freak out if I have too much on. Physically I’m exhausted almost all the time which doesn’t help. I feel trapped. Nine years of excellent therapy and I’m still a mess. I’ve made heaps of progress. I just have/had tonnes of trauma, circumstances, and illness relentlessly crushing me. While I’m scared I still have hope I can flourish.