Instead of making assumptions, why do family members not seek your view? Know this makes me sound paranoid, but for a while I've suspected chatter in my family and snippets have surfaced.

Firstly, older niece envying my decision to retire. Totally untrue. I need to work after losing job. Her response "Oh, I've been told you'd retired". Comment also made about me buying food from a well-known UK store (M&S). Again untrue; I do shopping surveys, earning points to spend there. Then there's my mother's untrue comments about my views on her relationship with a neighbour. Aunt recently commented about my attitude, so took the brief chance to put my side. She's offered to listen further; opportunity hasn't presented itself yet.

No-one picks up the phone to ask how I am. In conversation the other day, my mother's response was "it takes two to tango". My aunt has said "she doesn't know what to talk about". Seems everyone's forgotten I live on a budget and can't afford lengthy day-time calls. Can't remember last time I had a proper chat with my brother; he's always left that to his wife (men!). Even before the problem in August, when I've called they're always doing something and the chat lasts about a minute. Worse still, if I get to talk to him, SIL is always in background interrupting.

Finally, an incident many years ago started these trust issues. Decided to take an overseas holiday between Christmas and New Year. When telling my mother about it, she said "good for you, enjoy!" Two months later, attitude changed. Accused of being inconsiderate, selfish. Suspected another family member (uncle) was behind it. Around six months later, hairdresser told me that my mother had confessed to him that she'd made a big mistake in allowing her sister and husband (my aunt and uncle) to change her mind.

Two sayings can apply in this situation. "Don't assume; it will make an *** out of u and me" and "Why let the truth get in the way of a good story".