My husband and I have been married 8 years together for 11. We have a 3 year old daughter and we both have mental health issues.

Something happened this morning. We need to mail back in my trade in phone and he wiped the hard drive for me and packed it in the box. Yesterday he said he would mail it for me today but then asked me to do it. I brought up that he had said he would do it and then he said he still would. I left with the phone and said I was afraid he wouldn't do it. And of course it caused a mini fight. I feel like I have this deep resentment and behavior pattern that has emerged from years of him just not doing what he says he will. I don't think he understands how much it hurts that he doesn't follow through on things because I am so good at keeping my word.

So the behavior and thought pattern for me is this: I think of something I want him to do and I either don't ask because I'm afraid he won't do it if I do ask, I do ask and then do it myself shortly after because I know since he forgets so much I can't just not think about it after I ask him, it has to stay in my mental load until it's done and I'd rather just get it over with. Or I sometimes say things like I did today.

He really wants to improve our marriage and so do I. He does follow through on very important things like picking up our kid from daycare, so that is good. He thinks I am holding onto old resentment and I'm trying not to but I just can't stop the behavior pattern and I don't think he gets how hard it is to be with someone who doesn't keep their word. He told me once he sometimes will agree to to something he knows he won't do just to shut me up and stop talking about it basically and that hurt.

We filed an extension on our taxes this year because we were having issues with his new business accounting. As the deadline approached I just had to do it all even though he said he didnt want me to and he would do it. I didn't believe him and I didn't have the luxury of waiting to see if he would do it since there were real consequences if he didnt.

What do you guys think? Any advice?