Thanks Rap, bebop and Clyde. I had to look around and find what forum was appropriate for my thread. Hmm, survivors of abuse since I am like I am from watching my friends be murdered without conscience?
Relationships since i mention my husband and my angry feelings toward him?

I put in general due to the fact that it was a bunch of topics in here and because grief in my opinion should be kept for the loss of people in our lives. My loss of Jane is a lot worse then my puppy.
I am sad and triggered by many things as I try to deal with my puppy's death. Ptsd as I am terrified over the road and obsess over it? I am religiously careful after a child landed in my driveway hit by a car going 60. SHE was a neglected child from next door and never had a chance. I can't get the mail because of that and I am terrified of road sounds because of this. I too sit back from the road. Abuse as I watched the female parent use cloroform to murder my pets? My pets who were my only friends, my only solace to be found.I would try to hide the animals so they wouldn't be killed.

My spouse was not careful as he could have been. relationships?

I feel hurt that I am not considered intelligent enough to know where to post a thread. Due to the complex nature of what I am experiencing I really felt it should be in general. Flashbacks to the child's death. Flashbacks to the whole let's take away the foster child because I have a disability. I feel sad that I was moved and can't be left where i felt I wanted to be. I feel so many feelings right now. I will be startled by each new noise, hypervigilent. I am restraining myself because my anger would harm my husband. when I was a kid I used to beg the great spirit to lat me and my dog and her puppies all die so we would be together and away from the suffering that my life was. My dog away from breeding every available heet to make money off the sales of her puppies. She would hunt for them for days. I wanted we should all die. This was after I was a little kid and watched the dogs get murdered for no reason. The cats had it worse though. Just kill ALL of them. The dogs sometimes were allowed to live for a little while.

It doesn't matter though. It was only a dog and my suffering is a simple thing afterall.