I think that it may depend on the type of therapy you are doing. My therapist is psychodynamic and it would definitely be appropriate to critique him and give feedback, but he may or may not make changes depending on the circumstances.

I think it can take more than a few sessions to know if someone is really a good fit. I’ve been seeing my T for 2 years and was very skeptical in the beginning. Like you, I thought he should make small talk at the beginning of sessions. I even sent him an online version of a 400 page textbook on how to be a therapist written by a psychiatrist at Columbia University, and highlighted the section on how to start a therapy session (which I thought supported my view). He was incredibly gracious and unoffended, but did not change his style. There are other circumstances where he has changed to accommodate my needs. I honestly respect him much more for not catering to my every whim. He is caring, but has a spine.

It has taken me a long time to shed some (but not all) of my skepticism towards him. I believe I would have had this dynamic with any therapist. Since I suspected he might be a decent human being deep down (despite my initial distrust) I made a commitment to myself to show up anyway and I believe it’s been worth it, although I still frequently start my sessions by saying, “I hate starting.” Anything I can do to get the attention away from myself.