I acted like a brat.

I told him that I was quitting therapy and that I didn't care about him going on holiday. That maybe I would book myself one too and asked him why he needed to have so many anyway?

He asked how many weeks I thought a doctor would take.

He laughed when I said two.

He said that wasn't true that I did care and my saying that made him think that was the reason why I was acting out.

I said that I had figured that I had to wait longer to see him. 27 days over Christmas was a long time, but he pointed out that I also had a busy schedule too and had declined the monday slot (£££).

That he knew it was hard for me.

I mentioned the movie the day after tomorrow, when Dennis Quaid says that he will come for his son. But I said how could he find his son if he didn't know where he was? He said I wouldn't be able to find him.He said he felt torn when I said that and I couldn't hold on to him or hope or think that he could hold me when I wasn't there.

I said he was just a guy I met online and I wasn't going to behave today. That he could do all the work and spoon feed me the answers.

He said he felt like I put him into a parenting role .He wasn't good at parenting.

That I reminded him of a rebellious teenager.

He got fixated on the spoon feeding line.

Not wanting to be separate from him and mentioned oral feeding needs as a child.

He asked if my mother had told me stories from when I was a baby? Was I breast fed?

I just said that I was told that I cried a lot and she made the formula milk wrong so it was much thicker and I didn't like that.

What my earliest memory was?

Holding my brother and I said I'd told him the other one already.

He said he wanted me to tell him again or not.

I told him about a hypnotherapist's newslettter I subscribed to. When dealing with a resistent client told him to do the opposite which worked.

He smiled and said said reverse psychology,

I said it was when I was slapped across the face at 4.

He said something like that must have been shocking.

What did that make me feel.

Trust vs mistrust. I couldn't trust them.

I said but hey i could read before i was in reception.

We talked about my mother leaving for 2-3 months when I was 6 and it not really being explained.

Yada yada he said my parents hadn't been reliable care takers,

Then I mocked him and said I think this explains everything then.

I told him him in case he didn't come back that I did love him.

He said that was nice.