Whether or not a feature of his personality is his fault or not has nothing to do with whether you should have to live with that feature. It's not a matter of finding fault. It's a matter of deciding if he is sufficiently attractive to you. I wouldn't put much hope in thinking a therapist could refashion him so as to make him more appealing to you. He is who he is.

The anger aspect is what I find particularly concerning. If and when you start a family, life will get more challenging. If he gets upset easily now, wait till there's a needy, fussy child making demands and taking up most of your attention.

On the other hand, you've been content enough to stay with him for 5 years. So, if you called off the marriage, what would you do then? You shouldn't keep stringing him along, if he wants more commitment than you do.

Coming up with psych diagnoses to apply to him doesn't really serve much purpose. If you're thinking those are medical ailments that can be treated and changed, I think you're kidding yourself. Either take him as he is, or consider moving on.