Thank you all for taking the time to respond. I truly appreciate it. You all offer some good insight.
I do see a therapist myself and we have discussed my partner. Sometimes I have left session knowing he's not for me, while other times I couldn't be more happy with our relationship.
I don't want to change him at all. I just think speaking to someone about his triggers, patterns, and responses would be more helpful than coming from me. He is VERY receptive to me tho, when I have discussed my concerns and I have seen light bulb moments from him.
I would say I am sufficiently attracted to him, but my faults are nit picking everything from here to next Tues! That's just what I do! So I have doubts and I can't entirely tell if these doubts are valid or me trying to self sabotage and find ways for it not work, because im scared.
I have to mention too, I'm 37, this would be my first marriage, and i have with no children, but want them so badly. I'm tearing up while writing that part, and also can't help but think he is last chance. This sounds so silly when I write it out but its how I feel right now.