In my opinion, normal doesn't exist, and what ever way you cope with things in your life, it doesn't define you. There are so many forms of self harm that people usually don't think about as self harm. Self medicating in any way, constantly being on a diet, working until you're burnet out, smoking... They all can be forms of self harming. If a man punches the wall or hit his head in a wall, it's usually not perceived the same way as a teenage girl cutting her arms. There is a huge lack of knowledge about self harm, even within health care, so widely recognised stereotypes and so much prejudice. But there is no shame in self harming. It's a desperate act to cope with a desperate situation, and though not healthy, it's better than what may often seem like the only alternative.