After giving birth nearly 17 years ago and after having gained weight, my stress incontinence worsened. I was never able to do kiegels - too triggering for my PTSD. I now have to wear light pads to prevent accidental leakage. I am only 45. I am afraid of surgery. I wish I could lose weight and see if that helps, but I am a mess, and my buttocks are deformed. I wear baggy clothes to hide my body. This is not how I imagined life in my 40s.