You will be meeting more people, making new friends, getting close, some times for many years, but the majority of them are passing through. For every 100 new "friends" I've met in any given amount of time, they are passing through. Sometimes, they show up again and we get to pick up where we left off, only with new stories and experiences to share. Maybe, even some growing up that needed to be done.

I'm 55 years old. I have been married three times. I used to be able to pick up the telephone and have a crowd of people at my house in an hour for a party. Everyone knew me from the surrounding counties 100 out.

If you asked me who some of these people were now, I swear I couldn't remember their faces, let alone their names. Reason being is that they were who I knew they were -- fun people who were coming through. I've been married for 26 years to the third husband (drives me insane, but I'll keep him), and I couldn't get a party together in a month, let alone an hour. Half of those people are dead or moved away. Once and awhile I will see someone and it takes a minute but then I will remember them.

I have one best friend besides my ball and chain and that is Nancie my friend of 36 years. It hasn't been easy, we both hated each other when we met and we are both ****ed up -- but ****ed up together. Meaning, we get one another and understand where we are coming from. Its the two scary gals against the world and they miss out. We still have slumber party weekends now that her kids are gone and married. The are my god children so they make fun of us all he time.

I have been hurt by the worst -- not the best, and everyone always talks crap about Nancie, etc., but she is the ONLY person I've known who has been through all my marriages and divorces, sexual assualt, our parents' deaths, and he husband going to prison for manufacturing drugs. She lost everything. I had another 35 plus years friend like Nancie but recently I had to end it for good. Our parents were best friends so I felt this obligation to stay in her life. But after many years of insulting me and getting more dillusional to where I didn't reconize her anymore I had to let her go. It was sad and I feel a little guilty, but I like myself alot now and I don't have time or a place in my life for any **** heads.

Stay strong....Courage!!