thanks so much "TunedOut"! we haven't met. i'm Jane, long-time member but absent for all of this year due to a long depression then this current awful high mood. you certainly gave me good feedback! i will strive to do the things you mentioned.

the only thing about bedtime is: i do *force* myself to bed at a reasonable hour. the problem is: it's like my current cocktail makes me "high" as a junkie would experience on heroin or fentanyl. i lay there for hours, enjoying myself, baking under my duvet and snuggling my dog.

Nine times out of ten i go under, i drop off into sleep, but last night i couldn't quite get there and got up after a few hours, when the high had worn off a bit. i *did* actually get to sleep at 5:00am and slept til 9:00am but that's just four hours -- not enough. really feeling like an addict on my current cocktail. stoned. high. worried i wouldn't be able to react if there was a fire alarm . . . . or intruder.

but i'll keep trying. walks in nature are healing of course. i went to four (4) parks yesterday with my friend who is a nature photographer and felt much better in the one with wide open spaces and paved walkways. i didn't care for the ones in the woods,with the enclosing sheltering trees which made me feel captive tho. will stick to parks with wide open spaces and long sight-lines.

i hear you about not starting any big projects. have started a big writing one with a master class with Joyce Carol Oates and have signed up to follow 73 different music genres on an underground music site. i'll put both projects on hold.

thanks for your time! will keep an eye on things and book with my doctor tomorrow morning if things don't improve. retching this morning. it's a bad sign when i'm so high i can't eat.

thank for the hugs!