My mother, brother and I went for a drive to an estate sale this afternoon. My brother has post concussive syndrome. He is also very secretive and I know almost nothing about his life. He has been going to the doctors a lot lately and won't say why. I also wonder if he might have undiagnosed BPD. He is a grown man in his mid 30s, 2 years younger than me.

On the ride there (my mother drove), I realized in how much pain he is. He was telling my mother not to hit any bumps and getting angry at her when she did (on accident) or had to press the brake quickly if a car jumped out in front, etc.

When we got there my mom told me to get out on the other side of the car (I was in the back) bc of traffic. I said my brother would have to move his seat for that. My brother said annoyedly, that I would have to wait (he was doing something) and it seemed like there was no traffic on my side anyway. I felt annoyed by his tone, and said "I don't like your tone." He got defensive then and said some things like he didn't do anything wrong and "what did I say that you didn't like?" However he never admits when he's wrong. And I was like ok I'm going to this estate sale now adios lol. I got out my side, and shut the door.

When my mom and I were done there, we realized my brother was gone, no where to be found. He hadn't even gone to the sale. It seemed really passive aggressive to me. I did get pissed and vented to my mom about how I feel he was inconsiderate and making us wait. We searched the house, and even the small graveyard across the street. He finally turned up, and wanted to go to the estate sale. My mom took me aside and told me he said I'd slammed the door and it hurt him (like the sound ). And he thought I did it on purpose (I did not. I wasn't even thinking), so he went for a walk instead when we were at the sale. I just found this so passive aggressive and inconsiderate. It sounds like he was mad and upset though.

When he got in the car, to go home, the insanity started. I said "what's going on?" I was trying to open the conversation. He stuck his fingers in his ears (literally) and ignored me. My mom was worried there was going to be a fight btwn us. I tried. I tried not to.

Be started talking angrily about how I don't care. And that's not true, but I also felt defensive of his tone. I tried not to say much. He really seemed to want to fight. My mom, driving, was crying. He got so worked up. So did she.

He ended up telling my mom to pull over and he got out. That in and of itself was insane bc he took his seatbelt off and opened the door a little and my mom freaked out crying even more. She also didn't want to let him out.

As we drove home, my mom flipped out on me, and said she couldn't believe this was how her life had turned out. She was hysterical and it was scary. I wanted to get out of the car myself. She also calmed down and apologized.

I'm not sure what else to say except this. I have ton a **** ton of work on myself over the years, and still am. My mother refuses to get counseling and so does my brother. Its concerning and disappointing to me, but I have to let them live their lives. I can't control their choices.

I also feel badly. As my brother was getting out of the car, I said he should call an uber or taxi. He was calling my the devil. I was concerned. He was angry.

This is all so confusing to me. I don't know...what I did that made him SO angry. I didn't want to fight w him, anything I said like "stop, leave me alone, I'm not gonna engage" only made him angrier. I ended up saying I do care, and it's like he didn't even hear.

My mom whispered to me to apologize, and I didn't want to. He was attacking me. But as he was getting out, I did apologize. It felt ******. I didn't want to apologize. Not then. I feel like he was trying to make us feel bad and he wanted attention.

I think it is best I stay away from them for a while. I know I myself have issues with depression and anxiety, and I even thought I might have had some BPD traits in the past. I'm in,my second round of DBT and grateful.

I think I just....that was so intense, and not how I thought that would turn out at all. And I'm struggling w my own issues, but I don't think I'm the devil or Satan or the woman from misery, like my brother said. Geez. I did the best I could and felt confused and surprised by their intense emotion. I wish they would get help.

I guess what I'm looking for is support. That was crazy. Also, I feel I need validation. He was calling me the devil, and I admit I felt angry and it probably showed. I tried though. I tried.