Quote:
Originally Posted by Wild Coyote
I am sorry for your loss. 
Grief can be very complicated, showing up in very different ways for different people. You are ahead of the game for realizing at least some of your more recent feelings are tied to the loss of your precious companion.
I realize we have shared on this before; yet, I feel led to share again. I had a wonderful service animal, a beautiful German Shepherd. She was always at my side, day and night. We were ultra bonded with one another. After approx 8 years together, she passed on from cancer.
I have felt a HUGE loss since. It seems neverending. I think it will get easier every year; yet, not so much!
I have not had the heart to get another one yet. For one thing, I am not in a place where I can easily have one right now. I am not sure of what I want in the future. It will depend upon my lifestyle, my housing situation, my ability to properly meet all of the needs of my furry friend, including getting him/her enough exercise, etc.
Service animals have some additional needs, in my own humble opinion. In many cases, they are serving people with illnesses/disabilities, etc. Animals are usually very sensitive to their environments, as this is a part of their survival instincts. Additionally, their training as service animals trains them to tune in to their human partner at all times. Well, many of their human partners are experiencing severe pain, depression, anxiety., chronic frustration, etc.
I fully believe service animals need extra exercise, some scheduled breaks for FUN only, need some scheduled breaks from the daily grind and from the ongoing exposure to environments where their health and welfare are not the biggest concern and, often, falls short of meeting the daily welfare needs of the service animal. These animals have emotions, too. They may eventually suffer when they sense their human guardian is suffering, etc.
I will end that rant, lol. BirdDancer, I believe we both have had enough awareness of the needs of our animal companions that we have taken great care of each of them.
This type of a very close bond cannot be forgotten. This type of a loss can have a very intense and a long-term grieving on the part of the living partner.
You have written about feeling some extra heaviness when you usually feel lighter than the scale registers. I wonder how much of the sense of "heaviness" might be a manifestation of your grief?
In most cases, we tend to wait , hoping the grieving will pass. There is no amount of time which is "correct" for anyone/any loss.
I am wondering if there might be an action or a ritual which might help you to work your way through your grief? You have a very creative mind. I imagine you might be able to come up with an exercise, a ritual that might serve you well?
There are many creative members/friends here and possibly one of them has an idea of some sort?
I am going to think on it, too. I still grieve the loss of my service animal in a very big way.
It is just fine to cry.
I wish you healing in every way, on every level.  |
Wild Coyote, I'm sad for us both that we have lost our sweet companions, and you a service animal, as well. I thank you so much for sharing and understanding how significant these animal friends are in our lives. I've, of course, had some time when I felt I was towards the end of my grief, but it comes back to varying degrees. I feel the same way about my mother and nephew, of course. And other loved ones, even those who may still be with us but are absent from my life.
Yesterday I attended two workshops at the NAMI conference. Coincidentally, one was "Building Resilience through Loss and Adversity", and the other was "How to Stop Stress Eating". I took away some helpful things from both, and yet also felt that both fell a little short of what I wanted. I'm trying not to dwell on feeling a little dissatisfied. After all, both are topics about extremely difficult challenges. Both were presented as less complex than I feel they are. The instructor for the "Stress Eating" also crammed in so much so fast, that she stressed me out
My most recent feathered friend, a Hahn's macaw, was only about two and half years old when he passed. That fact was extra painful since I felt I let him down in some way. My parrot before him was also extremely dear to me, but he was almost 15 when he passed. My recent parrot was with me during better years. The one before, my Pacific Parrotlet, saw me at my worst. My extreme illness affected him negatively, at times (feather plucking, even mild depression), yet he was still always loving.
I believe I once mentioned that a tribute to my Pacific Parrotlet was published in
bp Magazine a number of years ago. It was simply yet emotionally written. It emphasized how we took care of one another the best that we could. I'm attaching a pdf of that tribute in the magazine. The first page is a letter from the publisher with a reference to my tribute highlighted in yellow. The second page shows a photo of my feathered friend along with that tribute. He was little in stature, but giant in heart and intelligence.The woman with the dogs is a stranger, but she obviously understands, as well.