They are cunning and clever. Always about five moves ahead of you (or me). There is no reality. Reality is whatever they want it to be at that moment, which may be completely different in an hour, depending on what the requirements of the situation are. There is zero way of being in a healthy intimate relationship with a person who operates like this, because they are constantly dropping nuclear bombs right in the center of the relationship. In my opinion, having lived with this for over a decade, the only healthy solution is to move on. I wish you all the best.