Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76
Whether or not a feature of his personality is his fault or not has nothing to do with whether you should have to live with that feature. It's not a matter of finding fault. It's a matter of deciding if he is sufficiently attractive to you. I wouldn't put much hope in thinking a therapist could refashion him so as to make him more appealing to you. He is who he is.
The anger aspect is what I find particularly concerning. If and when you start a family, life will get more challenging. If he gets upset easily now, wait till there's a needy, fussy child making demands and taking up most of your attention.
On the other hand, you've been content enough to stay with him for 5 years. So, if you called off the marriage, what would you do then? You shouldn't keep stringing him along, if he wants more commitment than you do.
Coming up with psych diagnoses to apply to him doesn't really serve much purpose. If you're thinking those are medical ailments that can be treated and changed, I think you're kidding yourself. Either take him as he is, or consider moving on.
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Good point. Whats the purpose of diagnosing?
My husband has Tourette’s syndrome and OCD. He is a wonderful partner. In no shape or form he has any kind of anger problems, or lack of attentiveness or any other relationship killing traits. Having a diagnosis doesn’t explain let alone justify anything. Your guy having Tourette’s is neither here nor there.
People are either good partners or they aren’t. I’ve met people with zero ailments 100% healthy and they sucked as partners. I take my husband over them every day
I also have to say that if a goal is to marry and have children, I see no reason dating for that many years. No one needs to wait 5 years to figure out if they are good life partners. If you both didn't know if you are right for each other for 5 years, it’s obvious this isn’t happily ever after. Otherwise you’d know by now