Finally my mind has calmed down and I have some peace. Today I am going to try to get some momentum going so I can tick things off my to-do list. It is 7.30 am now so I can start slowly. The last month was a write off. My mid-term goal is to get a job but right now I’m too fragile from PTSD. Any pressure on me brings great anxiety. I’m so fragile. My T and pdoc don’t want me working yet as when I previously worked the last two years I took a lot of drugs most shifts to cope. This made it dangerous.

Things aren’t going well with my partner. He also has bipolar but he never has any insight so trying to resolve issues between us is near impossible. This is why we divorced in 2012. I love him but he’s hurting me at times and I refuse to be treated badly anymore. We haven’t spoken in over two days and I still don’t feel like talking to him.

Things can be great between us sometimes. I don’t know what to do. My T has met him several times and agrees he has little insight and doesn’t take responsibility for his behaviour. It is something I will have to put up with if I’m to stay with him. He’s my best friend so I’m not ready to walk away. Sigh ... Why can’t life be simple sometimes?