In my opinion wrapping your entire identity around other people, regardless if they are romantic partners or your children etc is a very unhealthy way to live.

I’ve met people whose entire identity was defined by a relationship they were in. I think he is confusing commitment with enmeshing.

I can’t relate to this way of life. But I have to say it’s fairly common. Their partner’s friends become theirs, their life style become theirs, their interests and views start matching their partners and they spend all free time with their partner. These type of people usually can’t be alone and must have someone all the time or if they don’t have anyone then they fantasize and agonize about their exes or future partners.

They simply do not have their own self figured out. I think some type of professional help might do, but only if they are willing to open up and accept criticism. Usually they don’t.

So they go from one person to another with no time in between and no reflection and in the long run it doesn’t work. They choose wrong partners because they don’t really care if the person is a good match as long as he/she is with them. They are in love with being in love not in love with actual person. How can one understand someone else if they don’t understand themselves?

I wish this guy luck because he is going to need it