Good thread and something I’m glad to think about today, as I’ve lost a close relationship.

While we can enjoy all the feelings that come with love, we are still a whole person by ourselves.

I agree your friend sounds too enmeshed. Healthy love is somewhere on a continuum of less than his intensity and more than the inability to allow trust, love, and sometimes even power with a lover.

It must be a mutual effort, but it’s not always equal, much as that would be ideal.

Feeling okay about letting go should they abandon you is very liberating. Wish them well because you truly love them. And be kind to and love yourself.

When your heart is open and you are a loving person, you tend to keep having love in your life. I don’t see that as faulty. What’s wrong with being someone who draws others to them because they love and want to have love?

The ‘people are hell’ part to me are how others can be so callous and hurtful. Those people will leave you or be so abusive that you will leave them. So we learn from what happened with them and look for others who won’t do that and are better for us. Maybe there’ll be no one for a time.

I’ve just had a huge loss. Yet I feel that there are so many more people in the world and more purpose for me. It is painful but I let the wind blow me. I trust this happened as part of some master plan I don’t understand right now.