Lundi, you are very unlikely to meet the woman most suited at events for extroverts. My husband has Asperger's and his dating, social history is not dissimilar to your's.

I think online, perhaps in communities geared towards people on the spectrum is where you would find a woman who really understands you. A woman who would appreciate your uniqueness, and who would be grateful to find a man who understands her as well.

And, I'm not suggesting that you should only date women on spectrum, or that NT women will never be happy with you. But the extroverted sphere of party-going NTs is not the place for you to find life-long companionship. It's not the place for a lot of folks not on spectrum who are more introverted either.

Either way, introverted women, who enjoy similar things and are looking to date a man who enjoys the same, are likely to be at home online and not at meetups.

ETA: And ask yourself, is this something you even want? You have doggedly pursued your education and interests of chess and foreign languages, no doubt because they mattered to you. Are you really lonely for the companionship of a romantic or sexual relationship? Or is that just how you've been told you should feel? When you are engaged with something that excites you, is your first reaction to think "gosh, I wish I had a girlfriend to share this with?" Or are you quite content to enjoy most things on your own?

There are many successful, happy and productive people who have never had a sexual/romantic relationship and been at peace with that. You don't need to be sexual, you don't need to be in a relationship, there are even NTs who are very happy living lives as single virgins. It happens, and it really is okay. Sure in the superficial world of "we all must be the same" it's not very cool or fashionable, but does the approval and acceptance of these people really matter? Or is this ( a romantic or sexual relationship) truly feel like something you and only you want for yourself?