finally heard back from the leasing office. I will sign the lease to my new place on Wednesday... I'm getting nervous. I don't like to sign huge contracts like these. and I hope my roommates are ok. They are definitely older, late 30s and early 40s, and I checked them out online so I think it will be ok.

some strange form of depression hit me hard yesterday. I was too tired to make it to class on Saturday and felt so awful about that. I feel grateful for this life experience I'm getting, but I don't feel good about my prospects in life. I am still feeling weird today. I caught up on sleep yesterday. basically all I did was sleep. I don't know, I just feel worthless and tired and empty and useless. I think I've been feeling burnt out lately. without even doing anything in particular that was straining... if that can even happen.

I hope moving to my new place I will have more money and more sleep. two ingredients for future success.

I suppose I did catch up on sleep this weekend. Now I have to sign up for yoga, buy plane tickets home for the holidays. Mother is probably dying soon. I am very conflicted about going home. it certainly won't be fun, and it will be expensive to go.

I want to finish my short story (but I don't fault myself for using an organic process), practice drawing, continue reading up on industry skills, do yoga to work on my body positivity.

What then? Life is so empty.