This is tricky for me. Of course one of the biggest indicators Bipolar has to offer is a change in sleep. But I suffer with insomnia so , well that isn’t anything I can depend on.

My hypo is so brief, like usually 2-4 days only at most. Often I feel it’s just that Fibromyalgia is giving me a break , my PsA isn’t so debilitating so of course my mood improves.

But then I just get agitated, inpatient, annoyed, noise and light is painful. feels like I have one nerve left and everything is stomping on it. I do drive faster not really aggressive , just faster.

As it rolls into true Mania I get rage-y and in floods self loathing , strong desired to self harm, reviewing my plans if I were to make an early exit.

I don’t have the desire to shop or risky behaviors or habits.

I do wish I had more heads up when things start to go bad. I’m so good at hiding it , my husband is usually very surprised when I finally tell him things are going sideways.

My T ? Many times as we start a session 5 mins in he will say something like ... Okay when did this start ?? Then I realize things are out of wack. I explain his ability of seeing it clearly because for years him and his office is a true place of comfort and I can always feel, say and can let all my guards fall off.

When I do realize I’m in trouble I immediately work hard to get back to more level ground, kick and claw my way there.