how is respect ever mistaken for posession? that seems like an odd thing to mix up.

what happens when people change, rhap? just because he's the man you marry today doesn mean he will be in 10 years. so the stay single thing doesnt really work considering people change all the time. and if you change apart from each other then its not really for LIFE. the way you put it makes it sound like you treat marriage very religiously and sacred and many people don't see it that way. just because you do and they dont doesnt make you or them bad. but it also means that just because you feel that you must change your husband's problems because you guys made vows, doesnt mean everyone has to. there is no reason why they absolutely have to stay together, so we don't need to treat the situation as they will definately stay together. if they dont, they dont. seeing marriage as that kind of a bond is a personal opinion, not universal.