@dlantern So sorry you are struggling. It sounds like you have alters who are concerned about weight, alters who are ethnically different, and a system that had undergone a tremendous amount of trauma.

I have alters who had eating disorders. One was bulimic. One did not want to eat at all. Some alters were Hispanic. I am not Hispanic at all, but I had friends who were, and one Hispanic friend passed away. I guess I internalized the trauma. But in real life I looked Hispanic, depending on my cosmetics and dress style. I was called names and bullied in school by people who did not like Hispanics. My Hispanic friends and I were sad.

I am really Half Japanese and Half White, but my appearances differ. My dad is White and he said mean things about Japanese people, and he beat up my Japanese mom. He kept remembering WWII, when he was a merchant marine.

I internalized all that too.

I hope this does not trigger. If it does, I am sorry. I just want to help somehow. I suck at helping. But I try.

You are not alone in the struggle. Our system had to compromise and help each other.

I am now overweight. I never was most of my life, but I am now. We are okay being overweight. It is temporary, I think. Eating is hard for us, too. Some of our alters hate meat, some love it, and I can deal with vegetarian or carnivorous meals. There are times when I feel grossed out by meat, and other times when I crave cheeseburgers. Go figure!

I hope you can be gentle with yourself and your parts. You all deserve care and safety.