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Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs
Thanks for sharing Fern. That's interesting you have similar symptoms. Was finding out you might be on the spectrum helpful in any ways?
I never really felt like I met the criteria as I have a cousin who does and I function quite differently, however of course it is a spectrum.
It's interesting though, because when trying to determine if some repetitive behaviors I do were due to OCD, someone mentioned they actually seemed more like stimming. I realize this doesn't mean anything necessarily, just thought it interesting you're the second person who brought this up when I mentioned my behaviors/symptoms. As I haven't brought up all of these symptoms with my therapist I will probably go ahead and discuss them.
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It gave a possible explanation of why I've always felt a little different. Like you, I do not meet a lot of the criteria and specifically the social criteria. For whatever reason I have adapted on that front. I am an empath though and I deeply feel the emotions of others. I don't have trouble connecting to others, but I do recognize I process emotion slightly different than most. There's an strong analytical component to it. Irrational emotional displays confuse me sometimes. I feel them, but I don't always understand what motivates them. Mania was a real brain twister for me because it made zero sense rationally. I had to really dig to understand the connections between some of the things I processed at that time.
My perception and thinking patterns are however more in line with those on the spectrum. Essentially, I process data similarly. I also struggle with overstimulation from a sensory perspective.
None of this has ever affected my ability to thrive. I have just always been a thinker that sees in ways most others don't and I never knew why. Knowing my brain works differently helped make sense of that. I don't often tell people I tested out with several traits of Asperger's. I don't identify with a lot of it. I just noticed that you have some of the same traits I do and you diverge in some of the same ways I do.
My best advice would be to stop looking for a label. You're a special blend of awesome and you have some really amazing gifts. Learn to work with what you can and try to find ways to turn your quirks into powers. For example, I tend to hyperfocus. This means I can get stuck way down in the details, but it also makes me a really good analyst. At the same time, I am also hyperfocused on figuring out the big picture. This makes me a strategist. Most analysts I've worked with are really good at one or the other. My atypical brain does both at the same time. On the one hand you could say I'm obsessive. On the other you could say this helped make me a really excellent system designer and I'm great at puzzles
Like I mentioned, I don't like crowds. Too many variables and too much chaos. I love teams though. I am able to use empathy to tap into what they are feeling individually and as a group. I'm then able to blend that together and process it in ways they might not see to help them step around roadblocks to create a better bigger picture.
Just a few examples of how I take my strange and use it for good