Thanks for challenging the "supposed to be" statement. For some reason I have all these unwritten rules in my head that dictate that my life is supposed to suck and if it doesn't then I am doing something I'm not "supposed" to be doing.

This is all likely a part of some mid-life crisis and I just have to work through it without destroying my family in the process. With regard to intimate relationships I tend to choose flight over fight. I guess this weekend I was struggling to find something worth fighting for in my relationship with my husband.

Do you ever find yourself, sitting at the kitchen table drinking your morning coffee and look across the table and say to yourself, how did we get here? My mind is swirling with things I want to do throughout the day and mapping out how to do it all. Then coming from across the table I hear a long litany of aches, pains, and all the things that can't be done. My heart aches for him and I want to make it all go a way...but I can't.

I hate having 90% of my conversations with my spouse be about medications, limitations, and bowel movements. I'm 42 not 92.