Hi Moxie .. I am so sorry that you have at deal with these feelings. We have so much in common. Like you I had a decision early in life that I was a afraid to have kids because I would put my children though the he'll I went through. CEN and lack of emotional support is so engrained in the family tree when you look at it. I really feel so bad for you because I know how it carries on through out your whole life. JST KEEP FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT. I know I'm 59 and finally ready to face these demons down. Just tired of feeling used and useless.