Jazz 91,

When I was a teen I SWORE I would never say the following two things to my future children 1) While you’re under my roof…. 2) Do as I say not as I do.

Fast forward I really have tried to live up to that promise to myself, but I have used both of those phrases. I have told my children that I don’t say “no” just to make them unhappy, there is a logical explanation for every decision I make as their mother, but sometimes, they’re just going to have to take my word for it. Sometimes you just don’t have the time to sit down and explain every single decision that they don’t agree with.

Another thing I swore I would never do is favor one child over another. My brother was my mom’s favorite, and we both knew it. I do love all of my children equally, they have different personalities therefore my interactions with them are different, it doesn’t mean that I love one more than another. For example, if my eldest asked to do something and I did not want him to do it, all I had to say was no, there was no explanation required. He accepted my decisions without question. My youngest on the other hand needs ever aspect of every decision explained in detail.

As parents we do make mistakes, but our first priority is your health and safety, your happiness, while important to us comes in third place.

The last thing I swore I’d never say “you’ll understand when you have your own children.” I say that all the time. It is impossible to comprehend the love you have for your children until you have your own. We love you enough to make you miserable.

I was always so angry that I was the only one with a curfew. As a senior in High School I had to be home at 11:00. I was a good kid and did not understand why my parents did not trust me. Once I had my own kids, I realized that it wasn’t me that my parents didn’t trust, it was the rest of the world.

Many teenagers do not think that we remember what it was like being a teen. We do, we understand more than you give us credit for. We try very hard to make sure that you don’t make the same mistakes we did. Rules are a part of life, your mother would be doing you a disservice if she let you run wild. And you will understand her point of view when you have children of your own.