so.much.sexual.tension.today

towards the end of the session, i brought up having thought a lot about him (T) past week. he always responds professionally, directs questions towards what it means, what i want from him (emotionally), so i said i want him to really like me, or love me perhaps now i think of it. he asked me what it would bring me if he did, suggested a few things (safety, save me from worry), i didn't really know. i had also told him that i wanted to sleep next to him, lie close to him with my face close to his, kiss him in the morning, and that when i had those fantasies, it all felt so sweet and gave me a good feeling, that's as far as i got meaning-wise.

point is, i got really aroused. i noticed my breath changing, and tried not to show of course. but i also wasn't really stopping it from happening, because it felt so good. and to be there with him in the room - i started paying attention to his breath, too (i don't know if anything was different), at some point i saw him quickly glance down at his groin (i think) which was what i wanted, for him to be aroused too. i had told him a few minutes earlier that i want this tension to be there during the session, that i want to have that feeling.

being there in the room with him, talking about these things, oh man