T: I feel...off/bad about our discussions surrounding my birth and attachment. That the reason I am so avoidant is purely bc of my extreme premature birth. I get it. I know it was highly traumatic and i didn’t get held for awhile and i probably shut down. But it feels like my childhood didn’t matter, even more so bc i don’t remember a big chunk of it.

I wasn’t brave enough to bring up the stuff about seeing kids and their parents casually talking about their day, like the parents really cared. How that effects me. Sigh.