I have decided that I don't like EMDR anymore. It takes the pain away, but it takes emotions and memory with it.

I get angry at you sometimes when I want to escape. Once upon a time, I could disappear into a world of darkness without even knowing that I'd left the room. Now I can't escape. I just have to sit in my misery -- in the present.

I don't want to be on meds anymore. I think I will stop. I don't think I'm going to adjust well to my new pdoc so I want to remove the need to go and see him. I don't really like change.

Sometimes I REALLY don't want to be here and I don't want your help to keep me here.