There are days when I literally feel like I am at the end of life and that is the very last day. That was yesterday. And then there are days where I feel like I'm in my thirties (I am in my fifties). How much of this is due to my meds and how much is the illness I will never figure out. Bipolar people do have a shorter life expectancy, but most of that is due to cardiac issues. So, who knows? I honestly try not to think about these things and take it one morning, one afternoon, one evening at a time. I couldn't do it otherwise. It's just too overwhelming.