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SoAn
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Member Since Sep 2019
Location: Europe
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Default Oct 11, 2019 at 03:01 PM
 
short background info: i have romantic/erotic feelings for T, and T has said he felt attracted to me and would have liked to get to know me better had we met outside of the therapy context. (he told me this a few months ago).

last session, i talked about my fantasies about him, and we talked about what they meant, what i needed (emotionally) from him. however, at some point i got physically aroused (breathing especially, hope he didn't notice, but i am not sure) (also - perhaps i would like him to have noticed) (it felt good) (even though I know that is not what I am there for - perhaps I am also wondering whether i am using therapy the wrong way now, but i thought it would also be good to talk about my fantasies about him).

i don't know about him, but i saw him look down at his groin quickly at some point. i quickly glanced away. it got me thinking though, perhaps he was also feeling the sexual tension.

when i talk about this to friends (even without the groin detail), who are also in therapy, they doubt whether this relationship will be therapeutic for me.

i don't know what to make of it. have others experienced mutually acknowledged attraction, and wondered if both they and their T felt sexual tension at the same time, and what do you do - talking about my own arousal is one hurdle, but asking HIM if HE was aroused is another level. not really sure how to properly handle this, i like it a lot but don't know how helpful it will be to me therapy-wise
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