Quote:
Originally Posted by bpforever1
I think you're settling for less than what you need in your life now. You need to make sure you have the means to take care of a child let alone yourself. I hope it works out between you and your man but if you can't make it work out, what are you going to do? I made a mistake for settling for less and married a man who could not take care of himself, who wanted money from me, and who was abusive. I have been there and can tell you that marrying or settling with such a man does not make things better but worse. You need to address your priorities, that is, you and your future child. I would focus first on trying to take care of these priorities first. You should realize raising a child is not easy and no cake walk. If he wants to be there for you and the child, he would not be dating other women and causing you more problems. I say run for it and take care of your future- your child. And, I would detach yourself from this man for awhile, and see how things fall into place. If he really wants you and your child in his life, he would marry you and do whatever possible to make sure it works.
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I've already got that plan down. I'm moving back out to the farm (a family owned home that's empty) I've got my own income and car. I've also got family and friends to help. I'm naturally a planner i always have a backup plan. I'm taking classes, my sister's are coming up to teach me a few things and my friend one town over and mother of 3 she's close by to help too. I'm just trying to figure this out. Cause like i said he's not a dog, he's not abusive in anyway (been there done that) and he's a hard worker too. So we shall see. Stepping back is the only other choice i see, besides him ditching kelly, because i need to move on if he's not ready to forgive me.
To be honest I'm not sure he knows HOW to forgive someone. Everyone in his past was so horrible he never had a reason to even want to. Until now... Now he's trying to do what he did before and its not working (Kelly keeps bailing on him and he's just not feeling it, from the vibes I'm getting)... Because he can't hate me he's having trouble forgetting me, I've been nothing but caring to him. Every ex he's had was horrible to him so it was easy to just pick up and move on. So now he's stuck trying to move on because that's what had always worked before and he doesn't know how to forgive and he's still wanting me.
I'm hoping his therapist helps him sort everything out. Cause he's got two options... Forgive (and ditch kelly) or forget me. Simple as that. So I'm stepping back so he can see what its really like without me around. Cause we really haven't been apart more than 72 hours in 5 months. I did the laundry, dishes, trash and picked up regularly and he's a typical guy in the house keeping aspect. So things will become pretty apparent pretty quick especially since he can't see Kelly more than once maybe twice a week if he's lucky and he hates being alone at night. An she works long shifts so there is no way for her to fill this needs. So whatever is going on there likely won't last long. So eventually he's going to have to confront those feelings and hopefully the therapist helps him see it sooner rather than later.