bchlyn, I don't have a plan for dealing with the body memories and emotions associated with digging around in my past. Is this something that you worked out for yourself or did you get guidance from your T?

I am very blessed because although I experimented with SI in my childhood and am drawn to this type of behavior, I do not engage in it presently. I seem to have a built in survival instinct that is stronger than most of my destructive tendencies. I've just recently connected the with the term body memories, as described by others, as some of what I am experiencing at greater frequency since I started to dig around and deal with my past. My symptoms are not distinct event memories, they are more physical/emotional sensations. Although they are not putting my safety at risk, they are seriously affecting my present life. I've been trying to manage them on my own, but I'm also fearful they will continue to get worse.

This thread has also made me realize that I have not really communicated directly with my T about the fact that I am having these symptoms. I've only really disclosed about my abuse in writing and we've only talked vaguely about it so far. I should probably open my mouth this week and discuss them with her directly. Especially since it is getting worse not better, so whatever I'm doing isn't working. :-) Just I haven't been able to go there yet.