My psychiatrist wants me to tell him what is going on as faithfully as I am capable of. He wants me to take my meds as prescribed. He wants me to call him if I am in crisis or getting there. And he wants me to know he is there to go to bat for me if need be. Oh, and he doesn't want me ever to commit suicide (I struggle a lot with this).

I have basically been with him since 2008. If he has an agenda, I would say it is that he would (secretly, he'd never admit this outwardly) very much like to be the best psychiatrist on the planet. He is competitive. He reads absolutely everything. He's always three steps ahead of me. His fund of knowledge is absolutely mind-boggling. Harvard-trained (not that that matters, as I am sure there are outstanding psychiatrist from, say, the University of Florida as well), which again, I think just speaks to how competitive and hungry for helpful knowledge he is. In short, he is always learning and I have been the beneficiary of that.

He doesn't judge me. When I d/c'd my Abilify a while back without telling him, his response was to immediately try to figure out the next move. He never freaks. What have I done to contribute to this relationship working? I always tell him the truth--including when I have been psychotic. I go to the hospital when he tells me to. And I try to read a lot and bring him ideas about maybe what we might try next. He loves that.

It seems to be working. The only downside is that he does not accept insurance and is quite expensive. But if I am going to spend money on anything right now, my mental health is as good a place as any. I'd rather have him than eat way better.