I'm feeling really bad... for the last 4 days I have felt very suicidal. I don't have a plan as such but I want to make sure my Twin is taken care of ie money and that she will lead a positive life despite me not being around.

I'm really only here cause of her and my Nephew I want to be around for my family. But there is a niggle at the back of my mind I want to not be here.

I have spoken to the samaritans tonight for an hour. They have spoken to me about trying to occupy myself and that talking is always good.

Tbh I haven't felt this bad in about 7-8 years. I feel like I want to start writing letters to everyone. I know that's morbid but I just want to.

I'm going to cancel volunteering tomorrow morning to try and recover?? My friends are all saying I should still go in... what should i do?

Last time i felt like this i actually tried to you know .... myself. So I'm trying to mask it all with jokes etc to try and get through it.

Anyone free?