Welcome to Psych Central, HyperBeam.

And thanks for sharing your story. The relationships & communication forum, here on PC, may be of interest to you. Here's a link:
https://psychcentralforums.com/relat...communication/
And then, since you mentioned being gay, the LGBTQ+ Support forum may be one to check out as well:
https://psychcentralforums.com/lgbtq-support/
Here are links to 3 articles, from Psych Central's archives, on the subject of how to build self-esteem when you have depression:
Low Self Esteem and Depression | Dysfunction Interrupted
6 Tips to Improve Your Self-Esteem
8 Suggestions for Strengthening Self-Esteem When You Have Depression
I hope you find PC to be of benefit.