Welcome to Psych Central, HyperBeam. And thanks for sharing your story. The relationships & communication forum, here on PC, may be of interest to you. Here's a link:

https://psychcentralforums.com/relat...communication/

And then, since you mentioned being gay, the LGBTQ+ Support forum may be one to check out as well:

https://psychcentralforums.com/lgbtq-support/

Here are links to 3 articles, from Psych Central's archives, on the subject of how to build self-esteem when you have depression:

Low Self Esteem and Depression | Dysfunction Interrupted

6 Tips to Improve Your Self-Esteem

8 Suggestions for Strengthening Self-Esteem When You Have Depression

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.