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Originally Posted by pandabear0927
It’s kinda all of the above:/... i honestly could go the rest of my life without it.. and to i guess the “average” person that sounds insane.. idk I don’t really have that attraction? Is that weird to say.. I never have:/ not to partners.. not to even a celebrity... not to a stranger on the street... idk i can say someone IS attractive/goodlooking but I don’t FEEL aroused if that makes sense. Not sure if that can be checked through bloodwork? Or if some people can just be actually Asexual... but any physical and tests I’ve got done all come back normal... it’s just that i know it isn’t.. it’s perfectly fine with me.. but i also dont want to end up alone because i dont connect with someone physically like that... so i give into my partner:/... idk it’s easy to feel out of place in a world where sex is a big part of culture.. it sells products, it’s in every other song on the radio.. it’s how many people fall in love in the first place and I’m hust kinda like eh whatever..
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Are they aware of your asexuality? If not, I think it would be a good idea to tell him. Yes, you could risk losing them. But if this keeps going on you might end up feeling resentment. They might eventually notice that if they haven't already, and may develop some negative feelings towards the situation as well. The higher the sex drive, the worse the resentment I would imagine.
If they do, I still think it would be in your best interest to have an honest discussion about this if you haven't already, and see where it goes from there. If you two have discussed it, what have they said on the matter?
How often do you two have intercourse? Maybe the number of times can be reduced to make it more tolerable for you? If even having sex at all will eventually become a deal breaker for you, it will be up to your partner if he is able to completely remove that aspect of his life with you and just resort to self pleasure.. That is a difficult thing to do with a person that has a regular sex drive.
Honestly, it comes down to whether either of you are willing to sacrifice for the other without it affecting the whole relationship. If it does, it's really no ones fault. To my knowledge, ones sex drive can't be changed.
Though there is one suggestion that may be "off the wall". It just came to mind, but what if they were to receive sexual intercourse elsewhere? But would still be romantically involved with you? Now i can't say i've ever heard of any arrangements of the sort irl or online, but I do have somewhat a familiarity with polyamory since I have family members that identify as such. I imagine the dynamic would be much the same, twice the communication to that of a regular relationship. From what i've gathered about my family members polyamory, they discussed at length about their insecurities, feelings that would arise, and would do the best they could to work towards those issues. It just required everyone being candid and setting boundaries and such. It's a load of work.
If this relationship ever ends because of the sexual aspect, don't lose hope of finding someone. While asexuals may be a small percentage of the population, that is really still a lot of people. You could try dating apps stating your sexual preference, which would be none at all. With time I think you could find someone with effort, even I came across a few asexuals when I browsed dating apps, even though that wasn't what I was looking for.