What so many forget , the coming together as family is not a time to gripe or quarrel or hold grudges ,it's time to celebrate all of you who made another year and be thankful for all the things big and small that enabled it all . If you want to be angry, bitter, "play old negative family tapes" for God's sake grow up ,stay home and be miserable happily all by yourself , they really don't need to drag everyone else down with them , they choose to show up ,just as they choose to be sad, mad, angry, bitter (insert applicable negative emotion) etc.

I have made a personal choice long ago , I don't have an easy life , I have had shall we say an "exotic life" rewarding in so many ways and horrific in others ,I rarely talk about ,why?

The choice I made was to check my attitudes at my front door , leave it at home .
People know me as intelligent, friendly, caring, jokester ,I talk to strangers , I will happily listen to someone else and try to ease there burden if I can .
They don't know me for the guy in intractable pain ,dying of a rare disease , they can find that out in the obituaries, because if i am going to be a jerk about it why i am i alive? Theres plenty of time to hate your mortal journey when your dead !

Now I am not Canadian , I am dumb American, however know your not alone ,I am an amateur radio operator and many a Canadian amateur will be on the air on Thanks, they would rather hang out with old friends and new friends and avoid the family members who want to create drama .

I didn't have a big family , but then as now when I am the only one left, have a house full of like minded people who form our own family, and we take in strays if we know someone is going to be alone rather than deal with " family issues " we invite them or push, pull or drag them along , a good meal ,happy thankfull people and possibly a great conversation drama free .

It may not help ,but try setting ground rules, about squabbles and drama , as in those who start one will be asked to leave , for this year and can come back next year .