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yiyii99 said:
.... But what really scares me and makes me angry too is that he has started touching me inappropriately when he thinks I'm sleeping. I push his hand or hands away and ask him about it the nest AM most times and he either denies it or says he was just rubbing my butt. But his hands are under my underwear not on top. Or under my shirt. Why is he doing this? I don't deny him sex. Anyone out there with any help to my delimma? It makes me not want to have sex with him. My Dad sexually molested me for 2 yrs before I told on him and this sort of reminds me of that. Thanks for any help.

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This needs to be addressed with a counselor. I think this is a serious boundary violation...which borderlines on rape. Being married does not give a person a license or right to violate his/her spouse. It is wrong what he is doing, especially him knowing you were violated as a child.

You'd think he would have enough decency to ask for your permission first..."Hey honey, how would you feel if I touched you while sleeping?"

Your husband is getting off to your vulnerability and powerlessness. It's a typical deviant agenda of molesters, rapists, and sadists.

Nothing will change until you become more assertive with him. Assertiveness doesn't come naturally for abuse survivors like us. You might consider sleeping in another bed until you find resolve.