I think your Pdoc sucks to be honest.

Thank you for your honesty I genuinely appreciate it.

It's so weird, Christina! The woman needs a mood stabilizer, I swear it. 3/4 of the time she's bright, intuitive, and caring. 1/4 of the time she's an effin' sh it - like a different person. NOT a good feeling, nor a safe one, to wonder which Dr. W. I will get when I walk into my appointment.

You lowered your dose for a legit reason.. her scolding you ? Nope that’s ridiculous. But you went ahead and tried your best .. Abilify just isn’t for you...

I know you don’t really have any options right now ( call the other price office and get an appt it’s likely weeks to months away anyway)

I think I’d go to see her and open up with something like....

Hiya Dr X.. I know your were angry I changed my doseage before but I felt I had to and of course it happened when you were not available. So I now have really tried to take it, it just isn’t working for me , I’m not sleeping and that is going to really cause me to deteriorate quickly. So i really want US to work together to find a good medication that will help me and I can tolerate any side effects.

If you guide the conversation in a way like this it might get her to swallow her ego and focus on the next course of treatment. Make sure “ work together” is emphasized.

She has major ego.

EGO - you are spot on!That's the word I've been searching for.

I also go to our county mental health services because well it’s a rural town only one other Pdoc in town.. my providers are both stellar !!! they don’t care if you have Medicaid or penthouse top notch insurance. They treat a person not a insurance company.

As they should!!

I can't say that I've ever heard her indicate anything about me being on Medicaid; she seems fine with it. But I have wondered if my insurance is a part of her attitude - maybe even not consciously.

What she has mentioned, in a slightly "weary" way, is that she has to be cautious with my treatment because I have strong reactions to med adjustments - which is annoyingly true to me. But hey, every patient can't be easy, right?

My Pdoc covers 3 counties !!! But he is available by phone if I need a change during the week , office hours.. usually he responds through his nurse in 24-48 hours if not sooner.

But ... he does not have a 24 hour service to cover nights and weekends. Hell I wouldn’t want some unknown Pdoc on call to fiddle with my meds..

That said ..... if a medication is causing me unbearable side effects I would indeed lower it or more likely I’d just stop it. Also half life of meds needs to be taken into consideration. Just because you stop Med X on a Friday night doesn’t mean it’s out of your system right away.

If I am really a mess? If I can’t stay safe then I’d be referred to the Er anyway.

I think you need to ask about a PRN you can use in an emergency. It’s usually a Med that typically snows someone under.... Seroquil, Zyprexa, Haldol, Thorazine..

In the past when I haven’t slept for 5-6 days and I’m shattering I have fallen back on taken Thorazine and just slept a day or 2 away until I can get ahold of my Pdoc.

I'll tell you what...I have a load of Seroquel that I have left over from previous 'scripts. I mean, it's enough to easily last me a year. I rarely use it, but it certainly works as a good prn if I'm severely sleep-deprived.

Call any other Pdoc’s available and get an appt set even if it’s a couple months from now. Maybe your Pdoc will stop being a shyt human being and start working WITH YOU to find something that you benefit from.

Right now the plan is for me to have 1 appointment with Dr. W. on Thursday and tell her essentially what you posted above- that I'm feeling confused by her lecturing me, because I believe I was taking action that was responsible, and that I was completely honest about the change I made since we are WORKING TOGETHER on my stability. If she can hear me and is receptive to compromise, good. If not, my therapist is going to accompany me to my appointment next week to mediate.

I'm stuck with Dr. W. as long as I'm with my therapist because my insurance won't allow me to see a pdoc in one place & a t in another. As annoying as my pdoc is, my t is that helpful. That said, I like your idea. Getting an assessment by the county is doable and well worth looking into. Not only for a second opinion, but I have found that oftentimes there are loopholes when it comes to "the rules", especially if one happens to connect with an employee that cares enough to check out all possibilities.


Thank you much, much Christina. Your input gives me valuable thought for options.