Hi, I have been a member for several years and have always utilized the bipolar boards, My bipolar for most of the years was my biggest issue, trying to maintain balance,etc...but i do suffer from gad and ptsd and ofcourse with my bipolar i have depression. The reason i am writing is for a very long time i am have trouble doing anything...no matter how much self talk and rationalizing i try I cant accomplish anything. It takes me days to convince myself to shower, with self talking all day trying to convince myself...i need excersise but for the life of me i cant take a walk. I will go so far as get dressed and putting my tennis shoes on but i seem to stop myself. this behavior affects the most minor of things to major things it is like I am frozen from fear of stupid things, i mean what is gonna hurt me to shower, it makes me feel better and its simple but i just cant do it...the shower is just one example. I guess i dont know if this is an anxiety thing or a depression thing. I dont feel sad. I smile and laugh, but i dont find joy in anything. I have no hobbies, no friends and stay home all of the time. my family is all i have, i dont do social media. I may be vommiting info here but i am hoping i have addressed enough symptoms to lead me to the right support boards. I also have intrusive thoughts about death and dying and until two years ago had suicidal ideations my entire life. I hope this is helpful to any of you and that maybe you could guide me to the right spot.