I am also sorry you are struggling. I sometimes also have a very difficult time getting the most basic things done. Keeping the apartment relatively clean. Taking my meds. They help me, but sometimes I don' really want to take them. Keeping commitments, of which I have, like, almost none. I still don't really want to keep even those few. I hate washing my hands--it goes back to an old thing where washing hands too much was a very bad thing. A struggle. And the thing I am by worst at--keeping in touch with the very few people still in my life. So, you are not alone. Other people have similar issues. I hope you find some support here. Like Kit suggested, maybe post about this on the bipolar board and see what comes up.

Hang in there! Sending you positive vibes.